Lovely, Still.

I’m Goin’ Down

I pull you close now baby but when we kiss I can feel a doubt
I remember back when we started
My kisses used to turn you inside out
I used to drive you to work in the morning
Friday night I’d drive you all around
You used to love to drive me wild
But lately girl you get your kicks from just driving me down

Moving On

I’ve been thinking a lot about
the dark of the night
the lights outside
the look of you.
Your hands on the wheel
the rush of street lights
and boulevard after boulevard
and I still remember
the scent of you
how the rhythm of your breath slowed.
Pieces of you collide in
my memory of the night
and I still remember
turning away when
you looked at me.
And I will remember
the look of
you leaving.

Rookie Mag

First Kiss

Beyond adorable. I wonder what I would ask if I did something similar.

Thoughts

Thinking about Enoch Robinson, concerning Loneliness.

Things to do after midnight:

1. Listen to Selena Gomez’s album, “When the Sun Goes Down.”
2. Learn the lyrics to every song on the album.
3. Sing along.
4. Dance without care*
5. Repeat steps 3 and 4

*Do so only if there are no sleeping babies or angry parents around.**
** Fuck babies. They ruin everything. Just dance.

Also, I feel like I should let the universe know that I’ve been chair dancing to this album for a good half hour now. Life is good and it sounds like a Disney princess.

A List Of Things That Scare Me

A. Swimming

Even though my uncle will testify that I fell in for barely a minute, I remember having nearly drowned in a lake when I was 6 years old before my uncle rescued me. But, I guess I will have to overcome this fear if I want to graduate. College diploma > Crippling fear of drowning.

B. Driving

Car accidents, angry drivers, and NYC traffic are the reasons why I don’t want to drive. Road trip to Chicago is the reason I must learn how to drive.

C. Rats & mice

Have you read 1984? Winston’s rat cage/torture scene? When I see these grotesque creatures, even I forget what 2+2 equals.

D. Drugs that involve some sort of injection

This includes pharmacutical drugs that can save me from stuff like polio, but heroin seems super scary. Steroids, too.

I partially made this list so that I can overcome my fears by recognizing them. But on second thought, I might not start using heroin. I mean, let’s begin with the easy stuff and move our way up, shall we?

A Study in Storytelling

“Because you have to feel like that person is living some version of a life that could have been yours. That’s the beauty and that’s the art of it all. You want to feel the feelings of it. You want to know what the dream of it is, and the happy and the sad and the funny. That only comes across when someone talks for a long time. In radio, there is, of course, a literal choice where we can narrate the story and tell the listeners this and that and the whole point of the story. Or the person can tell his story himself.” —Ira Glass, His American Life

Aaron Sorkin’s Commencement Speech to Syracuse Graduates

“Develop your own compass, and trust it. Take risks, dare to fail, remember the first person through the wall always gets hurt. My junior and senior years at Syracuse, I shared a five-bedroom apartment at the top of East Adams with four roommates, one of whom was a fellow theater major named Chris. Chris was a sweet guy with a sly sense of humor and a sunny stage presence. He was born out of his time, and would have felt most at home playing Mickey Rooney’s sidekick in ‘Babes on Broadway.’ I had subscriptions back then to Time and Newsweek. Chris used to enjoy making fun of what he felt was an odd interest in world events that had nothing to do with the arts. I lost touch with Chris after we graduated and so I’m not quite certain when he died. But I remember about a year and a half after the last time I saw him, I read an article in Newsweek about a virus that was burning its way across the country. The Centers for Disease Control was calling it ‘Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome’ or AIDS for short. And they were asking the White House for $35 million for research, care and cure. The White House felt that $35 million was way too much money to spend on a disease that was only affecting homosexuals, and they passed. Which I’m sure they wouldn’t have done if they’d known that $35 million was a steal compared to the $2 billion it would cost only 10 years later.

Am I saying that Chris would be alive today if only he’d read Newsweek? Of course not. But it seems to me that more and more we’ve come to expect less and less of each other, and that’s got to change. Your friends, your family, this school expect more of you than vocational success.

Today is May 13th and today you graduate and the rules are about to change, and one of them is this: Decisions are made by those who show up. Don’t ever forget that you’re a citizen of this world.

Don’t ever forget that you’re a citizen of this world, and there are things you can do to lift the human spirit, things that are easy, things that are free, things that you can do every day. Civility, respect, kindness, character. You’re too good for schadenfreude, you’re too good for gossip and snark, you’re too good for intolerance—and since you’re walking into the middle of a presidential election, it’s worth mentioning that you’re too good to think people who disagree with you are your enemy. Unless they went to Georgetown, in which case, they can go to hell.

Don’t ever forget that a small group of thoughtful people can change the world. It’s the only thing that ever has.

Rehearsal’s over. You’re going out there now, you’re going to do this thing. How you live matters. You’re going to fall down, but the world doesn’t care how many times you fall down, as long as it’s one fewer than the number of times you get back up.”

This is the full video.

Aaron Sorkin’s speech was very, very good, but I’ve heard too many graduation speeches to call his the best. I’d like to think that my habit of listening to, reading, and watching commencement addresses is due to the fact that I like to gain wisdom from someone much, much older than I am and hear someone famous talk for a long while. But, I’ve realized that my fascination with commencement addresses comes from the very real fact that I will, in three years time, be in the very position the graduates are. When I hear these speeches now, I’m in a safe and comfortable place. I have that “I’m only a freshman” mentality. I remind myself, when I watch these things, that there is time. There is time. The scary part, though, is the ever present feeling that some day in the distant (but approaching) future, I might actually have to write some of these things down.

Across Time Zones

Emily is currently in Hong Kong, and I would miss her like crazy were it not for the advent of the internet, which allows me to GChat her in the wee hours of the night. Have I mentioned how much I love GChat? Well I do. I also really like Emily.

This is an excerpt from our conversation that’s covered Brazilian waxes, boys, health class, and so, so much more. The clock reads 12:48AM (on my side) and the house is still except for the sounds of my fingers landing on the keyboard.

_____________________________________

T: My mom told me the other day that she had her first boyfriend when she was 18, but she said that she was madly in love when she was 16, with a boy that she never confessed her feelings to. When I asked her if she still remembered him, she said that you never forget your first “love.” And it made me sad because I don’t think I’ve ever loved anyone before in that way.

E: But this means that when you do, you will experience more emotions than you know what to do with. That’s always more fun. Until it ends.

T: Yeah, and I know from a certain best friend of mine that that it is not a particularly good feeling that I’d want to pursue.

E: It most definitely is not. But it’s a learning experience and it’s kind of unavoidable unless you’re like the rest of the Chinese women who I know and who marry the first person you date.

T: Yeah, why does that happen?

E: Chinese people aren’t complicated.

T: Yeah. Sometimes I admire the simplicity but other times it’s kind of ridiculous.

E: Buddha is supreme and filial piety is important. The end.

The end, indeed.

What is Modern Art?

“After sticking up the picture I took five minutes to watch what happened next. A sea of people walked up, stared and moved on, looking confused and slightly cheated. I felt like a true modern artist.” - Banksy